You have started to see some more honest topics come from me lately and that is because I have decided to open up and let myself be more vulnerable and real about what is truly going on in my life. My “illumination journey” as I call it is very real and raw, and while blissful in it’s own perfection, there are times when it’s hard. Let’s face it – the bigger I play, the bigger the challenges and rewards. So here we go…
I recently posted a topic about “Letting go of size 8″ and I’ve had some remarkable experiences/reality checks/breakthroughs about this weight topic in the past week. Oprah and I should really consider writing a book together. The icing on the cake is when at a recent party I hosted, one of my friends who I hadn’t seen in a while asked me what is going on in my life since she noticed I had “gained quite a bit of weight.” Ugh! Twenty pounds in a year quickly adds up doesn’t it? I couldn’t be upset or offended because it’s what I tell myself every day and honor my friend for being honest with me. But at the same time, why do I let the number on the scale or the size label in my clothing determine my illusionary value?
I told you I would be open and vulnerable. And even as I type this, I wonder, do I REALLY want the world to know this? Yes, I (think) I do. Why? Because I KNOW I am not the only one who experiences this and if we could just talk about the real, raw topics in our life, what else can we change in the world?
I connected with my friend, Auretha Callison, who is an image consultant and coach and we had a deep conversation about weight. One of my biggest breakthroughs is that when my life is going really great then I put on weight. Why? My biggest ah-ha is that traditionally I’m more of a quiet, observation-type person rather than the person on the stage leading a group of people. So when I’m in the spotlight more, putting on weight is something I use to be “invisible.” When I’m overweight I have a story I can attach to of why I’m still “human,” despite having a rocking marriage, how much I love my businesses, etc. Hmmm, very interesting.
One of Auretha’s favorite question is “How good can you stand it?” I love this because it’s soooooooooo TRUE. How good can I stand it? I do get to have it all. You get to have it all. The question is then, “What does having it all look like for me?” I deserve to feel great in my body, in my marriage and all of my relationships, and my businesses. So the journey continues and it’s awesome. This thing called life is amazing. The harmonic balancing act of it all is incredible.
This weight topic is not about fitting into a certain size or what I weigh. It IS about my connection to really allowing myself to be seen in all of my beauty and to own it right now in this moment. I’m in the process of releasing the “stories” and “illusions” about weight. Are you in the same boat? Tell me about it. This is the place to be open and connect about what is real for us. Together we can do more than by doing it alone.
Talk to me and let’s empower each other.
